After dropping off Rebecca for work, and on the way to purchase new hiking shoes for next week's adventure (click here! ... I can't wait!) I decided to catch the 8:30 Mass at Holy Cross, a neighboring parish. I was caught up again in the beauty of the eastern wall o' windows (pictured here, thanks to the iPHONE! Again!)
These bad boys are at least 25 feet high and a blaze of glory. But looking at them, during the homily (sorry Father), I got to thinking:
If the cars cruising down Baltimore Pike should perchance cast a glance towards the church right now, what would they see? Only darkness, blotted shapes, and metal bands holding oddly shaped glass together. Only the people on the inside can see their true beauty.
ENTER: A separate stream of thought that should collide with the first stream like in Ghostbusters when they crossed the streams and there was a huge explosion.
Last night on the radio, I interviewed Jennifer Fulwiler (see post below), a wonderful wife, mother, and former atheist who has entered the Catholic Church and now blogs beautifully about her journey at www.conversiondiary.com. She talked about what it was like having the mind of an atheist; how, when confronted with those dark moments in life, the blotted, tangled, cold metallic shapes of pure science and pure materialism alone, she felt.... outside, alone. It was dark, empty, and somehow detached from the mosaic of color that others seemed, almost naively, to enjoy.... and even in suffering, suffer through peacefully.
I think faith is a mystery to many because they are standing on the outside of the Church, looking in. But faith cannot be understood from the outside. One must step inside. Even if we do it half-heartedly, with trepidation, and taking more or less a gamble on this whole "God Thing," we will discover a warmth and a glow shining through the windows of the mind and heart that could never have been seen in other way.
"Sometimes you just close your eyes and jump, you don't think too long or maybe you just won't. Sometimes you just follow your heart, don't analyze too long or maybe it might just be gone."
- Carrie Newcomer, folksinger
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