Thursday, October 12, 2006

I don't remember where I found this one, but it's achingly honest and beautiful. God, once again I find myself at an ending and a new beginning, full of mystery, sometimes pain, and a certain aching wonder. I hear you calling me to embrace this new beginning, to move on to discover new and deeper parts of myself. Help me realize that I can be free, that I am being freed at this very moment. Give me vision to see beyond my own small world and to smile at the mysterious path along which you lead me to a richer expression of my uniqueness. I want to live and to love the mystery of living. There is newness and wonder in discovering myself as a unique person, created out of love; in respecting and loving the secret of who I am. But this wonder can be experienced only if I have courage to face the mystery, the uncertainty, the lack of control, the anxiety, the pain. God, give me courage. Help me trust your goodness in all the situations of my life. I hold up to you in prayer the struggle and the beauty of my humanity. Bless my steps along the path you call me to walk, through events great and small. My birth was just the first step along a journey of repeated dyings and rebirths, each a doorway to a deeper and more meaningful life in relation with you. I hear now another call to die and to live more deeply, more wholly, more fully; a call to be open and free. O God, it takes so long to bring all of myself to birth...a lifetime... and I become impatient. This anxiety I feel....it's healthy, you say? It's all right? It's a part of being human? It's shaping my heart like yours? Ah yes, God, let me not fear the mistakes or the failures or the anxieties that come with growth; rather, let me see in the struggle of being human the signs and the strength of your cross and your resurrection. Let me recognize your presence and your tender love in this ever- changing, ever-growing life of mine.
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